A little post to say thank you to my John.
Often I mention what others do for the House and it is not so obvious that the big obvious things are only possible because John travels indefatigably around the country collecting my many Ebay purchases, supported by his wizard petrolhead magic, provides tools, sources more tools when needed, cooks delicious meals for everyone, does his own share of DIYery, supports and shares my decisions.
(Ignore READ MORE - this is a small post with no more to follow.)
Sunday, 31 May 2009
Sexual age of consent
I've just been reading about Bill Wyman and 13 year old Mandy. Interesting how attitudes have changed so enormously towards younger teenagers being sexual.
Historically 13 year old wives have been quite normal and still are across most of the world. We commonly admire Shakespeare's Juliet - we don't see her as sexually abused!
But young wives or girlfriends lived in large extended families, they weren't expected to run a home on their own. Perhaps the tremendous push to split families up into tiny units of no more than 2 or 3 people nowadays has more to do with the sexual age of consent than is usually realised.
Strange really. Tiny households mean we buy a lot more goods - 2 or 3 times as many washing machines, cookers, fridges, sets of carpets, cars etc Good news for the money men - add on making those older girls work in jobs, paying a higher mortgage and taxes and the money is whizzing!
Compare China where there is no sex or marriage under 25. Is this the future?
If so it bears consideration that China's law is not about protecting the young. It's about making sure they stay hard at it at work, as well as population control.
Historically 13 year old wives have been quite normal and still are across most of the world. We commonly admire Shakespeare's Juliet - we don't see her as sexually abused!
But young wives or girlfriends lived in large extended families, they weren't expected to run a home on their own. Perhaps the tremendous push to split families up into tiny units of no more than 2 or 3 people nowadays has more to do with the sexual age of consent than is usually realised.
Strange really. Tiny households mean we buy a lot more goods - 2 or 3 times as many washing machines, cookers, fridges, sets of carpets, cars etc Good news for the money men - add on making those older girls work in jobs, paying a higher mortgage and taxes and the money is whizzing!
Compare China where there is no sex or marriage under 25. Is this the future?
If so it bears consideration that China's law is not about protecting the young. It's about making sure they stay hard at it at work, as well as population control.
Saturday, 30 May 2009
60th Birthday! and House happiness
Jenny Mark and James have worked miracles. It's wonderful to see the House coming alive, coming into its beauty.
Doors, floors, garden, an outing to magical Wentwood (see pic - click it to see full size) and finally birthday celebration evening - I am 60!
I just managed to get the four poster room ready for Jenny, Mark and baby boys when they arrived. Great to be able to offer them the kind of guesting they deserve. It's all white with green carpet, pine four poster, and lavender sprigged curtains.
Mark the Magician installed the beautiful old doors I found to open on to the garden. They have green swirly bottle glass in leaded panes. He also put in one of the Dance Room doors, heavy pine framed panes of glass, more light! more light!
Meanwhile James took charge of the new fencing and John cleared the overgrown grass, and Tal cleared away my store of leaded glass windows. All together we have a garden again. Young Matthew and Michael much enjoyed roly poly on a blanket.
James also laid blond parquet in our study so it too is getting beautiful. As ouyr most used room that's so welcome instead of a mucky hole. Oh and last but not least he and Tal abolish the horrible old bar opening up the Lounge for a dining area. What a relief - that old bar just magnetised rubbish and dominated the whole room.
Jenny is all the time everywhere, clearing, encouraging, buttying, organising - with a baby on her hip and a toddler never far away. This is a matriarch extraordinaire. I am so lucky in my friendship with her.
I should also mention my admiration for Mark who often works at carpentry or plumbing with 2 year old Michael pottering about under his care. Like our son long ago, Michael has been strictly trained on safety and is remarkably good on it. But even so it's not easy to work on skilled tasks with a young person right in your zone.
SATURDAY we had a lovely outing to Wentwood (pics to follow) in very hot sunshine - but it was cool under the trees. Michael explored happily in all directions up and over the tumulus mound, while certain elders dozed peacefully.
The bluebells were everywhere and the green was so rich, deep and mysterious it was entirely likely for the fae to pop out of the shadows at any mopment.
In the evening, late after the heat died John cooked me a grand birthday dinner. It was held in the lounge on John's beautiful oak table which Tal laid and surrounded with lots of candles. A festive spread was much enjoyed by all though sadly Colin was unable to be there.
I understand some presents await me on my calendar birthday in a few days time. Meanwhile Jenny gave me a fluffy Little Hug, Tal a ridiculous pulp romance (so appropriate for me) and John two exquisite silk scarves and a tiny model of witch, cat and cauldron.
At the end John put all the little candles on a plate and I blew them out - somewhat too enthusiastically sending hot wax splashing. I wished, prompted by Jenny, and my wish was the same numeric that John and I shared at out beginning. He'll know what I mean.
I also made a speech about how 60 is gaining the wisdom that "you can't do it all." That has been a hard won recent win, but although I accept there are things I have not done or had, how rich I feel in what I have. The inner voice is also clear that I have another lifetime now as Crone which will be a greatly fulfilling and creative one.
And so to bed.
Doors, floors, garden, an outing to magical Wentwood (see pic - click it to see full size) and finally birthday celebration evening - I am 60!
I just managed to get the four poster room ready for Jenny, Mark and baby boys when they arrived. Great to be able to offer them the kind of guesting they deserve. It's all white with green carpet, pine four poster, and lavender sprigged curtains.Mark the Magician installed the beautiful old doors I found to open on to the garden. They have green swirly bottle glass in leaded panes. He also put in one of the Dance Room doors, heavy pine framed panes of glass, more light! more light!
Meanwhile James took charge of the new fencing and John cleared the overgrown grass, and Tal cleared away my store of leaded glass windows. All together we have a garden again. Young Matthew and Michael much enjoyed roly poly on a blanket.
James also laid blond parquet in our study so it too is getting beautiful. As ouyr most used room that's so welcome instead of a mucky hole. Oh and last but not least he and Tal abolish the horrible old bar opening up the Lounge for a dining area. What a relief - that old bar just magnetised rubbish and dominated the whole room.
Jenny is all the time everywhere, clearing, encouraging, buttying, organising - with a baby on her hip and a toddler never far away. This is a matriarch extraordinaire. I am so lucky in my friendship with her.
I should also mention my admiration for Mark who often works at carpentry or plumbing with 2 year old Michael pottering about under his care. Like our son long ago, Michael has been strictly trained on safety and is remarkably good on it. But even so it's not easy to work on skilled tasks with a young person right in your zone.
SATURDAY we had a lovely outing to Wentwood (pics to follow) in very hot sunshine - but it was cool under the trees. Michael explored happily in all directions up and over the tumulus mound, while certain elders dozed peacefully.
The bluebells were everywhere and the green was so rich, deep and mysterious it was entirely likely for the fae to pop out of the shadows at any mopment.
In the evening, late after the heat died John cooked me a grand birthday dinner. It was held in the lounge on John's beautiful oak table which Tal laid and surrounded with lots of candles. A festive spread was much enjoyed by all though sadly Colin was unable to be there.
I understand some presents await me on my calendar birthday in a few days time. Meanwhile Jenny gave me a fluffy Little Hug, Tal a ridiculous pulp romance (so appropriate for me) and John two exquisite silk scarves and a tiny model of witch, cat and cauldron.
At the end John put all the little candles on a plate and I blew them out - somewhat too enthusiastically sending hot wax splashing. I wished, prompted by Jenny, and my wish was the same numeric that John and I shared at out beginning. He'll know what I mean.
I also made a speech about how 60 is gaining the wisdom that "you can't do it all." That has been a hard won recent win, but although I accept there are things I have not done or had, how rich I feel in what I have. The inner voice is also clear that I have another lifetime now as Crone which will be a greatly fulfilling and creative one.
And so to bed.
Tuesday, 26 May 2009
Rhiannon
My Rhiannon research is really fizzing!
Decided to check her father in the First Branch - found his name is Hyfaidd Hen.
Looked that up and YESSS! there was a Dyfed warlord king same name. A lot of the information fits my theory of how Dyfed used the Pwyll Rhiannon myth politically.
Exciting.
Oh and I've ordered the magnificent Will Parker "The Four Branches of the Mabinogi." a bit of a gulp at £40 but it's a big detailed book. Can't wait.
Also just seen Andrew Breeze has “The Origins of the Four Branches of the Mabinogi” coming out very soon - June 2009 - and only a tenner. Great! Breeze has a theory of a female writer for Y Mabinogi. I'd agree there is much female content that is unlikely from a male author, but of course I have my own ideas as to who the lady might be - not the same as Breeze who goes for Gwenllian.
Still I only know a description of his theory, not the actual detailed argument (it's in a journal paper or a totally expensive survey he wrote on Welsh medieval literature. We shall see.
Found a wonderful cat picture in the Book of Kells but not enough info on where to locate it. It's in Nora Chadwick “Celtic Britain.” 1963.
Bubbling BRAIN.
[Ignore the READ MORE link - this is the complete post.]
Decided to check her father in the First Branch - found his name is Hyfaidd Hen.
Looked that up and YESSS! there was a Dyfed warlord king same name. A lot of the information fits my theory of how Dyfed used the Pwyll Rhiannon myth politically.
Exciting.
Oh and I've ordered the magnificent Will Parker "The Four Branches of the Mabinogi." a bit of a gulp at £40 but it's a big detailed book. Can't wait.
Also just seen Andrew Breeze has “The Origins of the Four Branches of the Mabinogi” coming out very soon - June 2009 - and only a tenner. Great! Breeze has a theory of a female writer for Y Mabinogi. I'd agree there is much female content that is unlikely from a male author, but of course I have my own ideas as to who the lady might be - not the same as Breeze who goes for Gwenllian.
Still I only know a description of his theory, not the actual detailed argument (it's in a journal paper or a totally expensive survey he wrote on Welsh medieval literature. We shall see.
Found a wonderful cat picture in the Book of Kells but not enough info on where to locate it. It's in Nora Chadwick “Celtic Britain.” 1963.
Bubbling BRAIN.
[Ignore the READ MORE link - this is the complete post.]
Busy bee family
Jenny Mark James and sprogs are over from Ireland. A great joy to have the house full of lovely beloved people for a week. The four poster guest room is now ready and Jenny assures me as its first users they had a great night's sleep. Lots of work being done!
Mark is working on the double doors to the garden - a set of beautiful old pub doors with greenish leaded glass panes in the top half. (Ebay natch) A tricky job that needs Mark.
James and Tal have mostly demolished the old bar - a great relief not to have it looming over us. So the lounge is now opened up and spacious.
Jenny is everywhere with ideas and practicality. How she does so much with two tinies in tow is amazing but she and Mark work together in the most skilful way keeping sprogs happy but still doing most of what they want to do. Something to see and admire.
Tonight we discussed using the new space in the lounge to create a library for all our books. But as everyone nicks books the problem is ... various wild schemes as solutions! John got thoughtful and said we can make glass doors for bookcases so off to Ebay we went and sure nuff ... watch this space.
Meanwhile Tal and James are studying for exams. Must get some fencing in for them to put up for the garden.
Oh and I'm losing weight. I have shoulders with hollows, and I can do my shirt up all down to the bottom.
A happy time.
Mark is working on the double doors to the garden - a set of beautiful old pub doors with greenish leaded glass panes in the top half. (Ebay natch) A tricky job that needs Mark.
James and Tal have mostly demolished the old bar - a great relief not to have it looming over us. So the lounge is now opened up and spacious.
Jenny is everywhere with ideas and practicality. How she does so much with two tinies in tow is amazing but she and Mark work together in the most skilful way keeping sprogs happy but still doing most of what they want to do. Something to see and admire.
Tonight we discussed using the new space in the lounge to create a library for all our books. But as everyone nicks books the problem is ... various wild schemes as solutions! John got thoughtful and said we can make glass doors for bookcases so off to Ebay we went and sure nuff ... watch this space.
Meanwhile Tal and James are studying for exams. Must get some fencing in for them to put up for the garden.
Oh and I'm losing weight. I have shoulders with hollows, and I can do my shirt up all down to the bottom.
A happy time.
Friday, 22 May 2009
Peter's so-called "mother."
Peter's "mother," the woman who let her child be tortured and killed as a toddler (Baby P) is to be sentenced tomorrow. She has written an apology.
Such an apology, right before she is sentenced, is glaringly obvious as a play for sympathy. It could be dismissed as meaningless on that basis, but actually it shows up just what a foul female this is.
In a previous post here just earlier today I wrote of the absolute priority a child must take over any lover, even its own father. For if not, this is the extreme result, to "stand by your man" at the expense of a small child.
She speaks of nothing but herself in her horrible apology.
She speaks of her failure, not of the child's pain. She shows she is aware that she has a miserable future. She cries every day. She is sad she will never see her lovely son grown up.
She says nothing of the hell she created for him.
She says she failed to be honest with Social Services and as a direct result her son "got hurt and sadly lost his life."
Firstly it was not a direct result of Social Services failings that the child suffered and died.He died because certain adults tortured and killed him. Not Social Workers.
Secondly how revealing are her words. Peter "got hurt" - as if he stumbled and fell all by himself. He "sadly lost his life" - as if in a sad accident. She has no awareness that it was she who caused his suffering and his death, together with the two males she allowed to stay around him.
This excuse of a mother, this utter slut of a woman, tries to blame the tragedy on her failure to be honest with outsiders. She sees none of her own huge responsibility in allowing inferior males to stay around her child. She sees none of her failure to protect, her failure to leave.
Her child did not exist for her. Only her own ugly needs, her cowardly fears, her shameful dependency.
It is time we called time on these unspeakable females who cling to some dregs of a male, and put that foul link first, not their child. That is to be a slut, and a whore.
Inferior males, and their female allies shriek about how many lovers a woman has. They prance about in religious robes, or respectable suits, condemning sexuality as if it is monogamy that protects children. For shame on this cruel hypocrisy.
It is not the quantity, but the quality of her sex choices that makes a whore. A woman could have many lovers, but choose good partners, who do not harm her child. Or she could choose just one, clinging to him over long years of a sanctified, respectable marriage, supporting him even when he hurts or humiliates her child.
The first can be a good mother, which is what matters.
The second is a whore.
A woman's right to choose is a heavy responsibility. Time we stopped forgiving sluts who cling to bad men. It is time we held them fully responsible for the terrible harm they allow to happen. For the sin of the bad female is usually passivity.
Women are responsible for what we do. That is the core of feminism.
Thursday, 21 May 2009
Child or father first?
A woman has stated publicly that she loves her husband more than her children. Rightly she sees this as a forbidden thing to say. She is brave to go against the mainstream view.
Nor does she sound like a bad mother. But a confused one.
Putting children first doesn't cut out flourishing sex with their father/ a partner, as the lady seems to think. Over a long marriage sex dips or disappears, sometimes for months on end. Early years childcare is so exhausting, and privacy is a problem! But sex comes back - it has a lot of raw power!
In fact it's good for children to know that a love affair is happening, and to learn the courtesy of respecting sexual privacy. A closed bedroom door means 'do not disturb except in emergency' which is an important social code.
Nor does devotion to child mean you cannot adore your lover. There are different kinds of love, and different kinds of passion. Both these are passionate loves. Both stir the heart and soul.
You don't necessarily have to feel like you're "in love" with the child. Devotion is none the worse for not being romantic. I guess it depends how romantic you are.
My son is a kind of faerie magical prince to me, a dream lover. Freud knew his stuff! Only of course that bedroom bit belongs to husband. I cannot imagine any of that in connection with my child even if I try. But I'm undoubtedly "in love" - missing his presence, delighted at every detail of his appearance, all the symptoms of heart and mind being in love.
Maybe this lady who feels she is not "in love" with her child is interpreting being "in love" too sexually?
What is right and proper however, is for the new life to take absolute priority. That is nature's way.
Only if the child's longer term, or deeper needs justify pushing it to one side for the sake of the father, can this be a good thing. For example I once put the father first for most of a year. He had cardiac crises, over and over again.
It was terribly difficult balancing the devotions. I made time for my child, and made sure he had high quality care while I stayed in hospital keeping his father alive. But clearly, this was about saving his father for him, and secondly, my beloved.
The "what if" game is helpful.
If the house is on fire, and you can't save both partner and child - obviously you save the child. It would be agonising - but then you see I know that his father would have it no other way. He knows that I would put our son first, as I know he would too. That is something to do with why I love this father so very much.
When baby was tiny I hesitantly voiced this. Looking at the precious little thing between us, I said softly to the father "You know, I can't put you first any more, don't you?"
He glared at me like a savage. "What the hell do you think I'm doing as well?" he roared. "Of COURSE he comes first."
That is a profound love to share.
Both parents should put their child first on anything important. But that still leaves plenty of places for the adult beloved to have priority as well. With sex, romance, fun and all the rest.
Nor does she sound like a bad mother. But a confused one.
Putting children first doesn't cut out flourishing sex with their father/ a partner, as the lady seems to think. Over a long marriage sex dips or disappears, sometimes for months on end. Early years childcare is so exhausting, and privacy is a problem! But sex comes back - it has a lot of raw power!
In fact it's good for children to know that a love affair is happening, and to learn the courtesy of respecting sexual privacy. A closed bedroom door means 'do not disturb except in emergency' which is an important social code.
Nor does devotion to child mean you cannot adore your lover. There are different kinds of love, and different kinds of passion. Both these are passionate loves. Both stir the heart and soul.
You don't necessarily have to feel like you're "in love" with the child. Devotion is none the worse for not being romantic. I guess it depends how romantic you are.
My son is a kind of faerie magical prince to me, a dream lover. Freud knew his stuff! Only of course that bedroom bit belongs to husband. I cannot imagine any of that in connection with my child even if I try. But I'm undoubtedly "in love" - missing his presence, delighted at every detail of his appearance, all the symptoms of heart and mind being in love.
Maybe this lady who feels she is not "in love" with her child is interpreting being "in love" too sexually?
What is right and proper however, is for the new life to take absolute priority. That is nature's way.
Only if the child's longer term, or deeper needs justify pushing it to one side for the sake of the father, can this be a good thing. For example I once put the father first for most of a year. He had cardiac crises, over and over again.
It was terribly difficult balancing the devotions. I made time for my child, and made sure he had high quality care while I stayed in hospital keeping his father alive. But clearly, this was about saving his father for him, and secondly, my beloved.
The "what if" game is helpful.
If the house is on fire, and you can't save both partner and child - obviously you save the child. It would be agonising - but then you see I know that his father would have it no other way. He knows that I would put our son first, as I know he would too. That is something to do with why I love this father so very much.
When baby was tiny I hesitantly voiced this. Looking at the precious little thing between us, I said softly to the father "You know, I can't put you first any more, don't you?"
He glared at me like a savage. "What the hell do you think I'm doing as well?" he roared. "Of COURSE he comes first."
That is a profound love to share.
Both parents should put their child first on anything important. But that still leaves plenty of places for the adult beloved to have priority as well. With sex, romance, fun and all the rest.
Wednesday, 20 May 2009
False Allegation
An accused taxi driver is to get financial compensation for a false rape allegation that wrecked his life. This is indeed a landmark case.
Now can we have compensation for families wrecked by "guilty till innocent" investigations by Child Protection?
Any family should be very very wary of asking for help from Social Services. Help means interference. You are unlikely to get much real help, and you could easily find they disapprove of something quite petty and start investigating you.
These so-called Child Protection investigations are far far worse than the police. They are actually more terrifying as the risk of inefficient Social Workers taking a child away without cause is very high. That's worse than any criminal sentence.
Social Services do not use rules of evidence.
They often depend on a single person's opinion - and this can be about what MIGHT happen, not what HAS happened. So you can be completely innocent of any wrongdoing.
Social Services also pretend to be casual, to "have a chat", to be "helping." When in fact they are deceivinjavascript:void(0)g you and trying to tick boxes against you.
They tell people they shouldn't contact a solicitor, which police cannot say.
They have no duty to tell the family their rights.
Like this poor man, life is ruined, as family is shunned. Child is isolated in a wrecked family. It takes many many years to recover, if ever. Childhood ruined and can never be put right.
Anyone suffering from false allegations can get help from the Family Rights Group (FRG); or False Allegations Support Organisation (FASO).
NEVER be taken in by talk of a "little chat." there is no such thing. Every contact with you is written in a Report and kept permanently on record about your family.
NEVER agree anything or discuss anything on the phone. For every single thing, ask for it to be put in writing.
DEMAND the reason (in writing, make a copy) for any Assessment, investigation or contact. They are required to tell you. They are also required to give you details of their Complaints Procedure at FIRST CONTACT with you.
ALWAYS tape EVERY meeting. Start the tape running, then ask if they mind. This is a legal requirement or else you cannot use the tape as evidence.
ALWAYS have an independent witness with you at any meeting to support you and observe what is said.
TRY not to get aggressive when they are being impossible and infuriating. This can be used as evidence you are an unsuitable parent.
FILE ALL PAPERS in a ring binder. Put them in date order, LATEST on top, oldest at the bottom. Keep any copies or attachments with the original letter/ notice. Use paper clips to fasten such bundles together. Make a copy of any letter you write and put it in this file.
CRY A LOT. Don't drink, don't drug. Talk to good friends. It's survivable, though one of the worst experiences you can ever know. Be warned: partners get angry with each other under the strain. Keep fighting!
CONTACT your local Councillors, your MP, FASO and FRG. Ask them to help you get a solicitor if you don't have one.
Family Rights Group (FRG).
False Allegations Support Organisation (FASO).
Local Councillors are listed on your Council website.
www.WriteToThem.com lists who your MP is.
Now can we have compensation for families wrecked by "guilty till innocent" investigations by Child Protection?
Any family should be very very wary of asking for help from Social Services. Help means interference. You are unlikely to get much real help, and you could easily find they disapprove of something quite petty and start investigating you.
These so-called Child Protection investigations are far far worse than the police. They are actually more terrifying as the risk of inefficient Social Workers taking a child away without cause is very high. That's worse than any criminal sentence.
Social Services do not use rules of evidence.
They often depend on a single person's opinion - and this can be about what MIGHT happen, not what HAS happened. So you can be completely innocent of any wrongdoing.
Social Services also pretend to be casual, to "have a chat", to be "helping." When in fact they are deceivinjavascript:void(0)g you and trying to tick boxes against you.
They tell people they shouldn't contact a solicitor, which police cannot say.
They have no duty to tell the family their rights.
Like this poor man, life is ruined, as family is shunned. Child is isolated in a wrecked family. It takes many many years to recover, if ever. Childhood ruined and can never be put right.
Anyone suffering from false allegations can get help from the Family Rights Group (FRG); or False Allegations Support Organisation (FASO).
NEVER be taken in by talk of a "little chat." there is no such thing. Every contact with you is written in a Report and kept permanently on record about your family.
NEVER agree anything or discuss anything on the phone. For every single thing, ask for it to be put in writing.
DEMAND the reason (in writing, make a copy) for any Assessment, investigation or contact. They are required to tell you. They are also required to give you details of their Complaints Procedure at FIRST CONTACT with you.
ALWAYS tape EVERY meeting. Start the tape running, then ask if they mind. This is a legal requirement or else you cannot use the tape as evidence.
ALWAYS have an independent witness with you at any meeting to support you and observe what is said.
TRY not to get aggressive when they are being impossible and infuriating. This can be used as evidence you are an unsuitable parent.
FILE ALL PAPERS in a ring binder. Put them in date order, LATEST on top, oldest at the bottom. Keep any copies or attachments with the original letter/ notice. Use paper clips to fasten such bundles together. Make a copy of any letter you write and put it in this file.
CRY A LOT. Don't drink, don't drug. Talk to good friends. It's survivable, though one of the worst experiences you can ever know. Be warned: partners get angry with each other under the strain. Keep fighting!
CONTACT your local Councillors, your MP, FASO and FRG. Ask them to help you get a solicitor if you don't have one.
Family Rights Group (FRG).
False Allegations Support Organisation (FASO).
Local Councillors are listed on your Council website.
www.WriteToThem.com lists who your MP is.
Praise song
Is there greater joy than to see your child triumph? I doubt it.
Yesterday my Boy went to take an exam, the first of a series over the next few weeks. After much pushing - bullying and coaxing both! yes he DID work hard. He left very early in the morning light, a hero walking, well prepared and gleaming.
It took a lot from us all as a family. Quite honestly I was far more exhausted than he was. But ...
I think I was happier as I knew so much more of what we'd accomplished together.
Strange things these hormones. As a young woman there was nothing I loved more than fiercely reaching for what I willed. Then Love, and the beloved's needs twine with mine. But nothing, nothing, nothing compares to the all engulfing Song of the Child.
Oh dear he was so brave. He rarely shows, or I think, feels fear. A much loved being, glowing full of confidence. But in this endeavour, yes he came to shelter with me before and after the great effort of the event itself.
No there is no greater joy than to see him conquer. I just wish it wasn't so exhausting - for me!
Yesterday my Boy went to take an exam, the first of a series over the next few weeks. After much pushing - bullying and coaxing both! yes he DID work hard. He left very early in the morning light, a hero walking, well prepared and gleaming.
It took a lot from us all as a family. Quite honestly I was far more exhausted than he was. But ...
I think I was happier as I knew so much more of what we'd accomplished together.
Strange things these hormones. As a young woman there was nothing I loved more than fiercely reaching for what I willed. Then Love, and the beloved's needs twine with mine. But nothing, nothing, nothing compares to the all engulfing Song of the Child.
Oh dear he was so brave. He rarely shows, or I think, feels fear. A much loved being, glowing full of confidence. But in this endeavour, yes he came to shelter with me before and after the great effort of the event itself.
No there is no greater joy than to see him conquer. I just wish it wasn't so exhausting - for me!
Thanks due for help with Blog
Thank you to Vin the Blog Doctor.
http://www.blogdoctor.me
so now I can show snippets for each post to make them shorter. Readers can read more if you like but not have to wade through loads of stuff you don't want.
Wonderfully clear instructions - what rarity.
http://www.blogdoctor.me
so now I can show snippets for each post to make them shorter. Readers can read more if you like but not have to wade through loads of stuff you don't want.
Wonderfully clear instructions - what rarity.
Tuesday, 19 May 2009
Quis custodies?
Today it is said that MPs cannot be trusted to handle their own finances.
Get real. It's not that MPs can't be trusted to handle their own finance claims.
NO ONE can be trusted to check their own finance claims. ANYONE who could just claim whatever they wanted would get greedy.
So what was the Fees Office doing? If the claims put in had been properly handled - accepted only when mainly incurred as part of work expenses - most of this would not be happening.
Andrew Walker, Commons' finance and administration director who ran the Fees Office must not be a scapegoat. He DID try to challenge the unspeakable Speaker Martin about all this. Martin suppressed his reports.
The question now is WHO will the new "independent" Fees Office be accountable to? The tax authorities are too overstretched. The citizen panel sounds like a good idea. There are plenty of people who oversee expense claims for their companies who could do this.
Get real. It's not that MPs can't be trusted to handle their own finance claims.
NO ONE can be trusted to check their own finance claims. ANYONE who could just claim whatever they wanted would get greedy.
So what was the Fees Office doing? If the claims put in had been properly handled - accepted only when mainly incurred as part of work expenses - most of this would not be happening.
Andrew Walker, Commons' finance and administration director who ran the Fees Office must not be a scapegoat. He DID try to challenge the unspeakable Speaker Martin about all this. Martin suppressed his reports.
The question now is WHO will the new "independent" Fees Office be accountable to? The tax authorities are too overstretched. The citizen panel sounds like a good idea. There are plenty of people who oversee expense claims for their companies who could do this.
Friday, 15 May 2009
Harlow, Queen of Faerie
I remember Harlow very well as a heroine to my family so I am surprised to hear her spoken of in a new biography, as being so obscure.
Nowadays I hope we can understand better that these bewitching women - and men - are typically not themselves interested in sex. Not real sex.
To these fey creatures, sex is a way to power, very often the only way to get affection they know. To get a glimpse of gentleness, they will suffer a great deal of violence. Their lovers therefore know they can be uncontrolled and get away with it.
They crave affection, faeries do, to be wanted for more than their beauty, but then they are hurt by being used, so often settle for the power their pseudo-eroticism gives them. Not that this false eroticism isn't beautiful. It's the true meaning of glamour - Glamourye - the ancient eldritch art of faerie. To turn dross into gold by candlelight.
For when dawn comes, that fey creature is revealed as grubby, hung over, smelly and grey of skin. Frequently ill, anxious, craving and demanding. At worst dominating at best needy.
Yet still the fascination of that Look bespells us so the truth is hard to see.
The truth, of a starving abused child, desperate for love they never got. Instead they got sex, too early, so they absorbed its raw power without its sweetness.
Unequal sex, too young sex, damages for life.
Of these are made our stars, our prostitutes, our rent boys, and our battered wives. Seduced or bullied young they learn so thoroughly that they have little or no value except as a sexual body. The rest has a horrible logic that destroys them with drink, drugs and violence as they seek more and more desperately to numb the void.
Not a pretty sight after all, as what seemed so lovely is stripped of its illusion. Poor Jean.
One law for the rich ...
Last week a young mother was killed. She had begged for police protection because she had received threats to kill her.
Police did NOTHING. Only hours later she was dead.
Yet one of these scum MPs [fraudulent expenses] has a window broken and there are instantly TWO police guarding his home. For a broken window!
One law for rich scum. Another law for us.
However there are interesting developments. The Mail has teamed up with the Taxpayers' Alliance to bring private prosecutions against the worst MPs. The hated Jaqui Smith and Hazel Blears are top of the list together with Morley and McNulty.
It seems a private prosecution has to meet a high standard of evidence: it must show there was intent to defraud. Very sticky to prove.
Very likely there will never be any actual prosecutions. There will however be a fuss and a stink, and these fatcat frauds will be battered and badly embarrassed.
In the year leading to a general election this will be interesting.
Police did NOTHING. Only hours later she was dead.
Yet one of these scum MPs [fraudulent expenses] has a window broken and there are instantly TWO police guarding his home. For a broken window!
One law for rich scum. Another law for us.
However there are interesting developments. The Mail has teamed up with the Taxpayers' Alliance to bring private prosecutions against the worst MPs. The hated Jaqui Smith and Hazel Blears are top of the list together with Morley and McNulty.
It seems a private prosecution has to meet a high standard of evidence: it must show there was intent to defraud. Very sticky to prove.
Very likely there will never be any actual prosecutions. There will however be a fuss and a stink, and these fatcat frauds will be battered and badly embarrassed.
In the year leading to a general election this will be interesting.
Wednesday, 13 May 2009
Cameron (ugh) gets it right
Today in Parliament:
All the leaders stopped short of personal attacks on each other's claims or those by their team in a tacit admission they are all deeply involved. (Daily Mail)
I have had some sympathy with Brown about MPs expenses. But not now.
Just as the bad news was being published by the Telegraph, a frantic Brown yelled at his Ministers that NuLabour MUST clean up their act. His people refused. That's when I sympathised.
A hysterical week later David Cameron announced that he's NOW cleaning up his MPs.
Now I don't rate DC - he's an empty puppet, another Blair, who'll say anything to get power.
But here he's done it right.
Or at least he has good advisers.
His people have been told to pay back their cheating money or get out of politics.
Clegg's LibDems are also coughing up. Clegg's calling to cancel mortgages on expenses.
All Brown can do is point at a committee grinding its way to changing the system - one day.
Not good enough.
CAMERON / TORIES
No more claiming on expenses for a mortgage, then renting out the property.
No more furniture, food and household goodson expenses.
Expense claims to be published online as soon as they are made.
CLEGG/ LIBDEMS
Repayments are being made.
Capital gains can only be kept based on the amount of their own money that has gone on a property.
BROWN
Wait for the Committee to make a decision.
Oh and Hazel Blears the muckiest of the lot is voluntarily replying a few thousads of the millions she has made. She SAYS her constituents are the most important thing in her life. Does the woman not have children?
All the leaders stopped short of personal attacks on each other's claims or those by their team in a tacit admission they are all deeply involved. (Daily Mail)
I have had some sympathy with Brown about MPs expenses. But not now.
Just as the bad news was being published by the Telegraph, a frantic Brown yelled at his Ministers that NuLabour MUST clean up their act. His people refused. That's when I sympathised.
A hysterical week later David Cameron announced that he's NOW cleaning up his MPs.
Now I don't rate DC - he's an empty puppet, another Blair, who'll say anything to get power.
But here he's done it right.
Or at least he has good advisers.
His people have been told to pay back their cheating money or get out of politics.
Clegg's LibDems are also coughing up. Clegg's calling to cancel mortgages on expenses.
All Brown can do is point at a committee grinding its way to changing the system - one day.
Not good enough.
CAMERON / TORIES
No more claiming on expenses for a mortgage, then renting out the property.
No more furniture, food and household goodson expenses.
Expense claims to be published online as soon as they are made.
CLEGG/ LIBDEMS
Repayments are being made.
Capital gains can only be kept based on the amount of their own money that has gone on a property.
BROWN
Wait for the Committee to make a decision.
Oh and Hazel Blears the muckiest of the lot is voluntarily replying a few thousads of the millions she has made. She SAYS her constituents are the most important thing in her life. Does the woman not have children?
Boy is DEAD. Use Reins on Toddlers!
A 2 year old has died at a fairground. He got away from his dad and collided with something moving.
Like the McCann tragedy, this is not about blaming the father. Far too many people neglect to use reins so he is not to blame. It would have seemed normal to him to walk with a 2yr toddler without reins because so many people do it.
My son was in reins until he was definitely safe on his own. That was around 4.
I bought 2 reins and sewed them together.
That meant he could have a "short rein" in busy places, crossing the road. But in a safer place he could have a bit more freedom, like in the library (ist floor, closed off but big space for him)
However whatewver we do it's almost impossible to contain every 2yrs. They are just so totally unaware of danger. We were in a little kiddies playground once, off the reins. He slipped away and was found outside by the ice cream van!
Interestingly the reins taught him a set limit of how far to walk away from me when not wearing them later. This was very useful for years till he outgrew it.
Like the McCann tragedy, this is not about blaming the father. Far too many people neglect to use reins so he is not to blame. It would have seemed normal to him to walk with a 2yr toddler without reins because so many people do it.
My son was in reins until he was definitely safe on his own. That was around 4.
I bought 2 reins and sewed them together.
That meant he could have a "short rein" in busy places, crossing the road. But in a safer place he could have a bit more freedom, like in the library (ist floor, closed off but big space for him)
However whatewver we do it's almost impossible to contain every 2yrs. They are just so totally unaware of danger. We were in a little kiddies playground once, off the reins. He slipped away and was found outside by the ice cream van!
Interestingly the reins taught him a set limit of how far to walk away from me when not wearing them later. This was very useful for years till he outgrew it.
Sunday, 10 May 2009
The Bullied Breast
Please please STOP spreading this wicked lie that "breast is best."
This is a gross oversimplification. It is damaging mothers and children both.
# Some babies cannot tolerate their own mother's milk. For them, breast is NOT best.
# Some mothers have a virus, or a health condition which they do not want to transmit to their baby. For them breast is NOT best.
# Some mothers just cannot breast feed due to certain types of nipple, or a very hungry baby needing more milk than they can supply. For them breast is NOT best. The agonising struggle forced by “breast is best” bullying blights their introduction to motherhood..
# For mothers after a caesarian, breast feeding can be far too demanding on a body in recovery. For them breast is NOT necessarily best.
# For some mothers the painful aspect of breast feeding many experience, cracked nipples, the acute and intimate demand on a body shattered by a bad birth, the massive drain on their bodies, the exhausting frequency of feeds, all adds up to far too much to handle so breast is NOT best.
# For some families the crucial involvement of the father in bonding to build long term commitment, or where the father is to be the primary parent, means for these families breast is NOT best.
STOP BULLYING about breast feeding. It's driving vulnerable women into depression and lifelong guilt that does NOT enhance their parenting.
By all means campaign to improve support and public tolerance for those families who are willing to breast feed. But the soundbite “breast is best” is bullying, dishonest, and cruel.
Breast is best when a particular family decides it is. Not otherwise.
This is a gross oversimplification. It is damaging mothers and children both.
# Some babies cannot tolerate their own mother's milk. For them, breast is NOT best.
# Some mothers have a virus, or a health condition which they do not want to transmit to their baby. For them breast is NOT best.
# Some mothers just cannot breast feed due to certain types of nipple, or a very hungry baby needing more milk than they can supply. For them breast is NOT best. The agonising struggle forced by “breast is best” bullying blights their introduction to motherhood..
# For mothers after a caesarian, breast feeding can be far too demanding on a body in recovery. For them breast is NOT necessarily best.
# For some mothers the painful aspect of breast feeding many experience, cracked nipples, the acute and intimate demand on a body shattered by a bad birth, the massive drain on their bodies, the exhausting frequency of feeds, all adds up to far too much to handle so breast is NOT best.
# For some families the crucial involvement of the father in bonding to build long term commitment, or where the father is to be the primary parent, means for these families breast is NOT best.
STOP BULLYING about breast feeding. It's driving vulnerable women into depression and lifelong guilt that does NOT enhance their parenting.
By all means campaign to improve support and public tolerance for those families who are willing to breast feed. But the soundbite “breast is best” is bullying, dishonest, and cruel.
Breast is best when a particular family decides it is. Not otherwise.
Army to run State Schools
The Army is to be called in to run some State schools.
This is the Hitler youth idea.
Those who know a bit about the history of State schooling know its origins were to train poor boys how to obey military orders, as a preparation for the army (in Prussia).
It was so successful that State "schooling" spread across Europe, America and the world. It was NOT about education.
So now it's coming out in the open. School is about robot obedience, uniforms, hierarchy, and training as cannon fodder.
"drills, uniformed parades, weapons handling and adventure training."
Adventure training maybe. Physical exercise is much needed since schools sold off their sports grounds.
But how is the rest going to improve literacy? self confidence facing up to the authorities? or social skills around MUTUAL respect and MUTUAL cooperation?
Hitler Youth did this same military takeover of the young. So does every dictatorship.
This is the Hitler youth idea.
Those who know a bit about the history of State schooling know its origins were to train poor boys how to obey military orders, as a preparation for the army (in Prussia).
It was so successful that State "schooling" spread across Europe, America and the world. It was NOT about education.
So now it's coming out in the open. School is about robot obedience, uniforms, hierarchy, and training as cannon fodder.
"drills, uniformed parades, weapons handling and adventure training."
Adventure training maybe. Physical exercise is much needed since schools sold off their sports grounds.
But how is the rest going to improve literacy? self confidence facing up to the authorities? or social skills around MUTUAL respect and MUTUAL cooperation?
Hitler Youth did this same military takeover of the young. So does every dictatorship.
MPs Expenses
Thank you to the Telegraph for aiding democracy in exposing this corruption. You are quite right that “acting in good faith” means claiming decent and reasonable expenses for the clear purpose they are intended. It means respecting that this is OUR money, public money.
Democracy is being served.
Phil Woolas MP appears to be a transvestite and fetishist claiming for women’s clothing and nappies for his own use. To each their own, but NOT on public money.
Barbara Follett MP gets police protection way above what any other frightened, mugged woman in Britain can dream of getting.
Mr. McNulty MP and Keith Vaz MP are property developers, using public money to do it.
Phil Hope MP can’t stuff all his expense paid goodies in his home, there are so many.
One MP has asked plaintively where his baby son could sleep if he can’t buy an expensive cot on expenses? Well I bought a very nice travel bed for £25 on Ebay, and I paid with my standard income, not public money. You provide for your child out of what you EARN, not by fiddling expenses.
Democracy is being served.
Phil Woolas MP appears to be a transvestite and fetishist claiming for women’s clothing and nappies for his own use. To each their own, but NOT on public money.
Barbara Follett MP gets police protection way above what any other frightened, mugged woman in Britain can dream of getting.
Mr. McNulty MP and Keith Vaz MP are property developers, using public money to do it.
Phil Hope MP can’t stuff all his expense paid goodies in his home, there are so many.
One MP has asked plaintively where his baby son could sleep if he can’t buy an expensive cot on expenses? Well I bought a very nice travel bed for £25 on Ebay, and I paid with my standard income, not public money. You provide for your child out of what you EARN, not by fiddling expenses.
Saturday, 9 May 2009
In the Public Interest?
MPs are now forced to consider just what "Nothing to hide, nothing to fear" means.
They have voted for laws to put all OUR personal information on one central database.
Millions of us, with our health, finance, locations, children's details, can now be put on a memory stick or disk - just like their "sensitive information" now.
Then just like theirs, our information can be wrongly put together, corrupted, leaked, lost, or sold, and used to hurt us.
I have NO sympathy. They've dropped US in it.
I'm very glad THEY are getting a taste of it.
Maybe that might make them realise in their fatcat, cocooned lives, what it's like to be a real person.
The Telegraph is RIGHT. Publication is overwhelmingly in the public interest.
Sir Stuart Bell you are WRONG. Exposure of what YOU do with PUBLIC money is definitely part of a democracy. Get real and stop whingeing.
MPs who are upset might like to join No2ID to get database info under control.
They have voted for laws to put all OUR personal information on one central database.
Millions of us, with our health, finance, locations, children's details, can now be put on a memory stick or disk - just like their "sensitive information" now.
Then just like theirs, our information can be wrongly put together, corrupted, leaked, lost, or sold, and used to hurt us.
I have NO sympathy. They've dropped US in it.
I'm very glad THEY are getting a taste of it.
Maybe that might make them realise in their fatcat, cocooned lives, what it's like to be a real person.
The Telegraph is RIGHT. Publication is overwhelmingly in the public interest.
Sir Stuart Bell you are WRONG. Exposure of what YOU do with PUBLIC money is definitely part of a democracy. Get real and stop whingeing.
MPs who are upset might like to join No2ID to get database info under control.
Tuesday, 5 May 2009
Just Eat Less!
Jim said: stop sticking food down your throat just check on the state of the people of the Sudan, even the thickest fatty cant deny this one ...
This is dangerous, ignorant rubbish.
Yes people in starvation conditions are thin. They are also VERY SICK. They die young.
They have fragile bones.
Immune system drastically weakened.
A cut or wound will heal very slowly and infect easily, death from blood poisoning a high risk.
A small bug is serious to a weak starving body. They die of them unnecessarily.
They die young.
Weight loss done properly means eating just as much or even MORE!
The art is to eat different things, gradually training oneself to eat differently step by step.
Cut out sugar first - that can take weeks or months.
Always eat breakfast or you eat more in the evening.
Increase exercise tiny bit by tiny bit - I had to start with 15 steps across my bedroom.
Do not DARE insult the courage the patience it takes. From 15 steps to hillwalking has meant a heroic journey. ,/span>
This is dangerous, ignorant rubbish.
Yes people in starvation conditions are thin. They are also VERY SICK. They die young.
They have fragile bones.
Immune system drastically weakened.
A cut or wound will heal very slowly and infect easily, death from blood poisoning a high risk.
A small bug is serious to a weak starving body. They die of them unnecessarily.
They die young.
Weight loss done properly means eating just as much or even MORE!
The art is to eat different things, gradually training oneself to eat differently step by step.
Cut out sugar first - that can take weeks or months.
Always eat breakfast or you eat more in the evening.
Increase exercise tiny bit by tiny bit - I had to start with 15 steps across my bedroom.
Do not DARE insult the courage the patience it takes. From 15 steps to hillwalking has meant a heroic journey. ,/span>
Saturday, 2 May 2009
MPs Expenses
I'm no great lover of this government but this is highly biased reporting. Four major areas are being reformed. The only significant "climbdown" is the daily attendance allowance.
4 out of 5 is excellent - especially as the MPs themselves voted the 4 reforms through by overwhelming majority.
Plus there will be more when this Committee finishes their work.
No 2nd second home allowance for Greater London MPs 355 to 39.
All expenses supported by receipt 348 to 22.
Declare all outside earnings 305 to 31.
All MPs' staff employed centrally by the House, not by MP 285 to 96.
I say just for once WELL DONE MPS.
4 out of 5 is excellent - especially as the MPs themselves voted the 4 reforms through by overwhelming majority.
Plus there will be more when this Committee finishes their work.
No 2nd second home allowance for Greater London MPs 355 to 39.
All expenses supported by receipt 348 to 22.
Declare all outside earnings 305 to 31.
All MPs' staff employed centrally by the House, not by MP 285 to 96.
I say just for once WELL DONE MPS.
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