Apparently children who are "young carers" for parents with health oproblems don't get enough support.
There should certainly be a system in place so teachers know a pupil has good reason for late work.
Also the very real benefits for personal maturity, practical organisation should not be underestimated.
I'd recommend some buckets and rubber gloves for Social Workers so they could do a proper job and make themselves USEFUL. For a change.
It comes back to the current monumental failure of Social Services.
They are too busy fussing and interfering in healthy families to have time for families with real needs.
It's so much easier to tick a box for a family that needs nothing but has been "assessed" than to actually do something practical to help where needed.
It would be far better to cancel meetings, take away the briefcases, ignore the degrees.
Just issue pinnies and rubber gloves and buckets.
A bit of practical home help would help families in need far far more than all the conferences, meetings, assessments, and reports in the world.
Wednesday, 10 June 2009
Mobile numbers directory -consent?
A new company has harvested mobile telephone numbers for the UK.
If you have ever entered your mobile number on a form, and not made sure you ticked/ unticked the option to share your number elsewhere - you're on it.
When you gave permission to share your number this could be because you didn't notice the small opt out box. It could also be because you were advised your telephone number would only be passed to selected companies who might offer you products that interested you - such as items to fancy up your mobile phone.
You DID NOT KNOW at that time that your number would be placed on a national directory which anyone can use to contact you.
Clearly this threatens your privacy. It also raises issues of young people and children, or vulnerable people, using a mobile phone.
For full details on your privacy, how to protect yourself, click READ MORE.
When an enquirer contacts the service it will send you a text message advising you that someone wants to contact you.
Clearly this will mean a lot of spam, and could be used to harass.
If you receive abuse as a result of the service the company refuses to take any responsibility.
I contacted my phone provider 02 who are seriously concerned that they have been unable to protect their customers.
OfCom is investigating and a report is due out by Friday.
the DP commissioner's office has provided me with some useful legal data (see below).
1. To have your number removed from the Directory call 0800 138 6263.
DO NOT use the option to text them. This opens a loophole by placing your number on another database.
However as of today the company is swamped with calls to do this and by 1pm today it was no longer possible to get through. I have spoken to several 'managers' who are sounding rattled.
2. You are probably safe if your phone is bought from a shop on a pay as you go basis, if you did not give your name and address as part of the purchase.
3. The legal position is:
Privacy of Electronic Communications Regulations 2003
Regulation 18: (Summarised) People have to know about a directory and that their number is on it. They must be given the opportunity to opt out.
That does not mean getting to know through third parties like newspapers, No2ID, me, or other concerned organisations. It means the directory must notify you direct.
The company stated to the DP office that they planned to notify everyone in one communication, presumably a mass notification. Details on that have not been publicised which is of consern as the service goes live within the week.
If you have ever entered your mobile number on a form, and not made sure you ticked/ unticked the option to share your number elsewhere - you're on it.
When you gave permission to share your number this could be because you didn't notice the small opt out box. It could also be because you were advised your telephone number would only be passed to selected companies who might offer you products that interested you - such as items to fancy up your mobile phone.
You DID NOT KNOW at that time that your number would be placed on a national directory which anyone can use to contact you.
Clearly this threatens your privacy. It also raises issues of young people and children, or vulnerable people, using a mobile phone.
For full details on your privacy, how to protect yourself, click READ MORE.
When an enquirer contacts the service it will send you a text message advising you that someone wants to contact you.
Clearly this will mean a lot of spam, and could be used to harass.
If you receive abuse as a result of the service the company refuses to take any responsibility.
I contacted my phone provider 02 who are seriously concerned that they have been unable to protect their customers.
OfCom is investigating and a report is due out by Friday.
the DP commissioner's office has provided me with some useful legal data (see below).
1. To have your number removed from the Directory call 0800 138 6263.
DO NOT use the option to text them. This opens a loophole by placing your number on another database.
However as of today the company is swamped with calls to do this and by 1pm today it was no longer possible to get through. I have spoken to several 'managers' who are sounding rattled.
2. You are probably safe if your phone is bought from a shop on a pay as you go basis, if you did not give your name and address as part of the purchase.
3. The legal position is:
Privacy of Electronic Communications Regulations 2003
Regulation 18: (Summarised) People have to know about a directory and that their number is on it. They must be given the opportunity to opt out.
That does not mean getting to know through third parties like newspapers, No2ID, me, or other concerned organisations. It means the directory must notify you direct.
The company stated to the DP office that they planned to notify everyone in one communication, presumably a mass notification. Details on that have not been publicised which is of consern as the service goes live within the week.
Monday, 8 June 2009
Fathers say it doesn't come naturally
I was very lucky that my John did bond quickly with Tal but on the other hand John knew nothing at all - nothing whatsoever about how to even touch a baby. Since he wanted to be a fully active devoted father he had to learn it all from the first basics.
It was terrifying for both of us, for him obviously it took great courage, and for me too as after a few weeks I had to walk out and leave THE BABY in the hands of an apprentice parent.
Well for us it worked. Phew! But men need a lot more preparation than they get.
But let's not sugar the mummy pill too much. We too know the hell of hating the beloved child.
Yes it's easier becoming a mum. That squalling lump came out of ME and my body recognises it as an extended ME. Right on.
But I vividly recall the day I clung to sanity with shaky hands. At one point I went out of the house feeling I was safer around other people. I just couldn't handle the exhaustion. Its effect on me was literally unspeakable, unsayable.
As soon as John got in I said take him, take the baby for Goddess' sake before I do something awful. Like hit him. The unsayable thing, said, right there.
With soothing and a cuppa I was fine within 15 minutes of getting help.
I was lucky there too. John stayed calm, recognised end-of-tether was natural and normal, didn't panic. Told me I was normal, so I rapidly felt I was, and returned to a more comfortable normality.
What would happen if I'd been alone? If the person I turned to panicked?
"Child Protection" -so-called, is dangerous. It criminalises normal reactions. It stops us ALL - mums as well as dads, admitting we ALL get to the edge of madness at some point. Better to admit it, make it known, then work on it. For ALL of us.
Because if we CANNOT admit it for fear of the child stealers - that's when we are left alone spiralling into just that danger that the ghastly Child Protection system supposedly prevents.
So let's look honestly at what being a parent involves. The greatest love, the greatest joy - and the greatest most ghastly horrors as well. Because it rips us open and expands us, bigger, bigger, until we break and go beyond the greatness we ever dreamed we could be. That is the meaning of ultimate love.
It was terrifying for both of us, for him obviously it took great courage, and for me too as after a few weeks I had to walk out and leave THE BABY in the hands of an apprentice parent.
Well for us it worked. Phew! But men need a lot more preparation than they get.
But let's not sugar the mummy pill too much. We too know the hell of hating the beloved child.
Yes it's easier becoming a mum. That squalling lump came out of ME and my body recognises it as an extended ME. Right on.
But I vividly recall the day I clung to sanity with shaky hands. At one point I went out of the house feeling I was safer around other people. I just couldn't handle the exhaustion. Its effect on me was literally unspeakable, unsayable.
As soon as John got in I said take him, take the baby for Goddess' sake before I do something awful. Like hit him. The unsayable thing, said, right there.
With soothing and a cuppa I was fine within 15 minutes of getting help.
I was lucky there too. John stayed calm, recognised end-of-tether was natural and normal, didn't panic. Told me I was normal, so I rapidly felt I was, and returned to a more comfortable normality.
What would happen if I'd been alone? If the person I turned to panicked?
"Child Protection" -so-called, is dangerous. It criminalises normal reactions. It stops us ALL - mums as well as dads, admitting we ALL get to the edge of madness at some point. Better to admit it, make it known, then work on it. For ALL of us.
Because if we CANNOT admit it for fear of the child stealers - that's when we are left alone spiralling into just that danger that the ghastly Child Protection system supposedly prevents.
So let's look honestly at what being a parent involves. The greatest love, the greatest joy - and the greatest most ghastly horrors as well. Because it rips us open and expands us, bigger, bigger, until we break and go beyond the greatness we ever dreamed we could be. That is the meaning of ultimate love.
Wednesday, 3 June 2009
60 Today - many happinesses
So today was my real 6oth birthday even though my party with Jenny's family was on Saturday.
A quiet day today - there's been a heatwave for a week anyway. Tal did his History exam this morning - partly why we did the more active celebrating at the weekend.
A lot of happy things.
I made some Mabinogi notes this morning (brain happiness),
chatted with Colin who is staying bless him (Friend happiness).
Spoke with mama, only a minor squabble! (simply B)
Checked out a tile design vinyl for the kitchen floor (House happiness).
Tal came back in fine style from his exam, (maternal priide and teacher happiness) with John escorting (father devotion happiness).
I retired to a long bath with rose oil (hedonism happiness)
where I read a cute book by Fay Wheldon (silly book happiness)
and John brought me my old favourite banana custard, (hedonism happiness again) accompanied by Senua Cat and Morgaina Cat (Cats happiness).
John and Tal brought me a PILE of presents -
the most magnificent being a laptop they bought jointly the darlings. I am strictly instructed to use it for ME so it will be mainly for my writing and studies. Careful notes by my John in green Celtic font! (IT happiness)
Also a pretty skirt, scarves, (clothes happiness) a book )brain happiness), and for sheer craziness two model London buses (? a dream of road life fantasy but also a reminder of my very young days as a bus conductor).
I also have a fluffy with cat design and exquisite handmade card from Colin and Joan; not forgetting my fluffy hugs from Jenny and John's tiny witch model.
Many many happinesses brought together on a delicious day touching on all my aspects.
(Ignore READ MORE: full post is here.)
A quiet day today - there's been a heatwave for a week anyway. Tal did his History exam this morning - partly why we did the more active celebrating at the weekend.
A lot of happy things.
I made some Mabinogi notes this morning (brain happiness),
chatted with Colin who is staying bless him (Friend happiness).
Spoke with mama, only a minor squabble! (simply B)
Checked out a tile design vinyl for the kitchen floor (House happiness).
Tal came back in fine style from his exam, (maternal priide and teacher happiness) with John escorting (father devotion happiness).
I retired to a long bath with rose oil (hedonism happiness)
where I read a cute book by Fay Wheldon (silly book happiness)
and John brought me my old favourite banana custard, (hedonism happiness again) accompanied by Senua Cat and Morgaina Cat (Cats happiness).
John and Tal brought me a PILE of presents -
the most magnificent being a laptop they bought jointly the darlings. I am strictly instructed to use it for ME so it will be mainly for my writing and studies. Careful notes by my John in green Celtic font! (IT happiness)
Also a pretty skirt, scarves, (clothes happiness) a book )brain happiness), and for sheer craziness two model London buses (? a dream of road life fantasy but also a reminder of my very young days as a bus conductor).
I also have a fluffy with cat design and exquisite handmade card from Colin and Joan; not forgetting my fluffy hugs from Jenny and John's tiny witch model.
Many many happinesses brought together on a delicious day touching on all my aspects.
(Ignore READ MORE: full post is here.)
Erotica for Women?
A new magazine called Filament aims to provide erotica for women.
Well I don't agree with those who immediately say that women don't respond to visual images. Many do, some don't.
But women have much higher standards than men when it comes to visuals because unlike men the visual is not the most important thing about sex. So a visual prompt has to be good to hack it.
Mind you I once asked John what he thought of porn and he said he found it boring even as a young man. A narrow set of poses and types, quickly becoming repetitive.
So the discerning man and many women both require something better.
More pics if you follow the READ MORE link.
It's unlikely that Filament will do any better than previous attempts to get female money. One picture shows a man's back - tired shrug. Now if there was a glimpse of the join with the thigh at one side ... but as it is BORING.
Another has an unpleasant pool of greasy oil around the shoulder and neck. Sloppy. Also why the jaundice yellow? Botox lips are NOT a turn on - they scream a lack of sensitivity. Kissing feelingless plastic is hardly sensual. Plus far too much make up. He looks like a schoolboy who has raided mum's make up and desperately tries to look grown up and instead looks like a crude doll. Poor boy.
I like the one I put at the top best - it has the contrast of white sheets and dark man, and some HAIR for Goddess' sake! though not enough.
But the pose is boring, too straight and rigid. Where's the all important hip? thigh?
Why are all these pictures cut at the waist when the lower stomach, hip and thigh is so magnificently central?
Why no pics of the line of jaw and how it aligns with a cheekbone? That's high erotica.
There needs to be a much wider range of types. Women are varied in our tastes. We don't just respond to elflike effeminate Legolas (oooh!) or elegant hard 007 Connery (oooh!) - we also like stocky Herculeans with deep hairy chests (oooh!) and strange, wiry creatures with slanted eyes (ooh!) and some of us like beards (ooh!) or tattoos (ooh!) or grubbiness and sweat from work (ooh!) or long luxuriant hair (ooh!) or sleek baldies (well no not me but lots of women love them) or jeans + leather belt and maybe cowboy boots (ooh!). That's just a few without thinking about it much.
Whichever type it is it'll take more than just a sheet, or a bit of symbolic art, or an expanse of well lit skin. It'll need a whole zone of body poses. Men use their bodies differently to attract another male and straight men rarely know how to do it for women. But some stars like Sean Connery know, so check them out. It certainly isn't enough to have the body sitting upright facing front, or lying in a straight line. What the legs and hips are doing is crucial.
Oh and pay attention to the THIGHS for heaven's sake. My great grandmother, an Edwardian lady, had a naughty habits of leaning over young men in the park and squeezing a thigh with a happy laugh. Wouldn't be allowed today but I can understand her joy very well indeed.
Then there's lesbian images. Don't they know straight women react very strongly to those without being lesbian at all?
Now THAT'S of interest - and no nakedness either, but the stuff of happy reactions for some.
I think the problem is the designers are just lazy. They want to crank out the same tired old stereotypes as the men's media. It might help if they realised that men too might like something better.
Also that more and more it's an obstacle that the brain throws up the questions - is the model happy about this? Or is s/he so slicked up it's uncomfortable? are they drugged? (check the eyes) are they scared? (ditto) - erotica is a two way exchange.
But that goes into the complex power play or porn, a huge can of worms. Not today thanks, it's my birthday so I'm staying lighthearted.
Tuesday, 2 June 2009
Tal Fawr with Log
Tal at 18.
Well actually this is from last Saturday but it's so magnificent I thought it should be posted on its own.
"The Four Branches of the Mabinogi" Will Parker.
If you love Y Mabinogi then this is a must have book.
I wanted to share my first impressions of
"The Four Branches of the Mabinogi"
before I move into a closer re-reading, taking notes + organising quotes etc type of reading. No doubt I will have more comment later.
What a feast for the mind you are Will. Having managed so far on bits and pieces, short papers in anthologies or journals, or the introductory sections that go with various translations, yours is such a magnificent massive cornucopia.
So magnificent was it that over the first couple of days after the book arrived it was almost too much. Like an ascetic suddenly switched into hedonistic celebration I could hardly encompass the giantism of what you have given me.
Now that the dazzle is settling down I can manage a tiny bit of detachment about my first forays. I can confidently say that whatever critical comment I make, now or later, the sheer scope of his study places Will Parker with the giants of Mabinogi scholarship.
I think what I like most at first grapple apart from the sheer immensity of the opus, is Will's profile of Annwvn as the "Indigenous Underworld." This very much agrees with my own views, but he has expanded my ideas with the perception of Annwvn as a view to the East, recalling Roman luxury villas in the Southwest of England. Even back in my romantic superficial beginnings with Y Mabinogi, I thought that Annwvn and its persons were Neighbours, or Foreigners, rather than the remote, transcendent theology of the "classics" (sic). So this "Indigenous Underworld" is received gratefully.
I am pleased to have a clear etymology for Annwvn. If I understand aright, Will suggests a separate Underworld (chthonic) and Otherworld (marine). I have seen (I think the Matthews) use of Otherworld which did express the kind of Foreigner mode I prefer, but was never quite comfortable either. Although "Underworld" is tricky because of its connotations elsewhere, the etymology as "deep, under" makes it imperative to reconstitute it in Brythonic fashion.
Also the chthonic UNDERWorld sheds light on Arawn's name and nature. I found a possible cognate on Arawn in arawen = grain, cereal. (See Celtnet) Since Hafgan links to the Cymraeg for Summer, this makes Arawn either the Winter King (the Man in Grey as we first meet him) in the seasonal duel, or possibly (Summer) Hafgan is his enemy because from the point of view of the grain, Summer with its killer harvesting is the enemy.
With my interest in Hywel Dda and Elen I was delighted, and perhaps a little disconcerted to find my cherished theory described independently in Will's pages. Reassuring but a bit uncomfortable (wail - this was MINE) However I do have a few more details to add still and shall continue that line to find more.
I also enjoyed much the Teyrnon material - I have been researching place names and especially Wentwood here in Gwent for my "indigenous" local tradition.
There are of course some bits where I disagree with Will but nothing major. I shall explore them as I do my close reading over the next few weeks.
I do recall one item that I will mention which is not so much a disagreement as that I feel Will has not given due weight. That is the Mari Llywd as the missing aspect of Rhiannon/ Non. In Y Mabinogi we have her as Maiden, Bride, Mother, but not as elder matriarch/ crone.
The Mari Llywd fits the gap as its practice stretches across South Wales - I have a delightful tidbit on an author who took his book about the Mari to an Eisteddford. On a stall talking to people about the book he discovered just how prevalent the Mari is - only each locality thought their surviving custom was unique!
The connection is of course the Horse/ Mare and that she is "a grey" that peculiar British convention for a pale horse. Given the Mari's geography, her tenacity of survival, and her fertility/ death's head duality I think we have our other aspect of Rhiannon as elder.
I found a review of Will's book on the net. It lists a number of inaccuracies.
For myself I apply a very tight level of assessment to a paper in an anthology or journal, or a short book. But I feel that for a long opus it is appropriate to be just a little more forgiving.
The functions of the large work, like this one, are to provide extended theory, with a wealth of cross references both intrinsic to the work examined, and extrinsic to it. "The Four Branches" amply performs these duties.
By contrast a paper or short book, which covers only a handful of points on one theme or at most a superficial outline of two or three themes, can be required to achieve 100% rigour. Any inaccuracy damns the entire item.
In an ideal world the long opus should be perfect too, but once past adolescence one has to notice we do not live in an ideal world. If we applied the same harsh criteria to a long opus as we do to a standard short paper, I suspect papers is all we'd ever get for a full book would be beyond human competence. Certainly I've never found a full length book that offered more than the obvious, that didn't have some inaccuracies on detail.
That review, and a couple of comments attached, raises the point that where we find inaccuracy on a few points we already know, it destabilises our trust on the rest of the work. We cannot then rely on using points made in our own work.
Excuse me? Really! Standard academic training is to NEVER use a secondary source, citation or quote, without checking it out. Methinks we have here the bleating of the lazy student who just doesn't want to do the required labour.
Also a touch of envy working. It is of course, so easy, and to a small mind, satisfying, to poke at the detail of a big person's work. So much easier to make a petty dig than to make the effort to dig foundations for one's own edifice.
Admiring as I am of Will's book I do not feel the same about his publisher. The book is badly presented - too bulky, with overly wide pages, and the proof reading is ABYSMAL. There are actual words left out on almost every page! Typos ditto.
I hope Will will consider a second edition with a better publisher who designs the physical book better, and knows more on how to reduce the price as well.
On the work itself I remain deeply in debt and would recommend it highly. It's utterly worth putting up with the thumping great book that needs a small cushion to support it! to get a thumping good read.
It should be obvious from the foregoing however that it's not a book for popular reading. A Level education and above, or self educated equivalent.
Go! Get it and luxuriate as I am doing. Oh what a feast indeed.
I wanted to share my first impressions of
"The Four Branches of the Mabinogi"
before I move into a closer re-reading, taking notes + organising quotes etc type of reading. No doubt I will have more comment later.
What a feast for the mind you are Will. Having managed so far on bits and pieces, short papers in anthologies or journals, or the introductory sections that go with various translations, yours is such a magnificent massive cornucopia.
So magnificent was it that over the first couple of days after the book arrived it was almost too much. Like an ascetic suddenly switched into hedonistic celebration I could hardly encompass the giantism of what you have given me.
Now that the dazzle is settling down I can manage a tiny bit of detachment about my first forays. I can confidently say that whatever critical comment I make, now or later, the sheer scope of his study places Will Parker with the giants of Mabinogi scholarship.
I think what I like most at first grapple apart from the sheer immensity of the opus, is Will's profile of Annwvn as the "Indigenous Underworld." This very much agrees with my own views, but he has expanded my ideas with the perception of Annwvn as a view to the East, recalling Roman luxury villas in the Southwest of England. Even back in my romantic superficial beginnings with Y Mabinogi, I thought that Annwvn and its persons were Neighbours, or Foreigners, rather than the remote, transcendent theology of the "classics" (sic). So this "Indigenous Underworld" is received gratefully.
I am pleased to have a clear etymology for Annwvn. If I understand aright, Will suggests a separate Underworld (chthonic) and Otherworld (marine). I have seen (I think the Matthews) use of Otherworld which did express the kind of Foreigner mode I prefer, but was never quite comfortable either. Although "Underworld" is tricky because of its connotations elsewhere, the etymology as "deep, under" makes it imperative to reconstitute it in Brythonic fashion.
Also the chthonic UNDERWorld sheds light on Arawn's name and nature. I found a possible cognate on Arawn in arawen = grain, cereal. (See Celtnet) Since Hafgan links to the Cymraeg for Summer, this makes Arawn either the Winter King (the Man in Grey as we first meet him) in the seasonal duel, or possibly (Summer) Hafgan is his enemy because from the point of view of the grain, Summer with its killer harvesting is the enemy.
With my interest in Hywel Dda and Elen I was delighted, and perhaps a little disconcerted to find my cherished theory described independently in Will's pages. Reassuring but a bit uncomfortable (wail - this was MINE) However I do have a few more details to add still and shall continue that line to find more.
I also enjoyed much the Teyrnon material - I have been researching place names and especially Wentwood here in Gwent for my "indigenous" local tradition.
There are of course some bits where I disagree with Will but nothing major. I shall explore them as I do my close reading over the next few weeks.
I do recall one item that I will mention which is not so much a disagreement as that I feel Will has not given due weight. That is the Mari Llywd as the missing aspect of Rhiannon/ Non. In Y Mabinogi we have her as Maiden, Bride, Mother, but not as elder matriarch/ crone.
The Mari Llywd fits the gap as its practice stretches across South Wales - I have a delightful tidbit on an author who took his book about the Mari to an Eisteddford. On a stall talking to people about the book he discovered just how prevalent the Mari is - only each locality thought their surviving custom was unique!
The connection is of course the Horse/ Mare and that she is "a grey" that peculiar British convention for a pale horse. Given the Mari's geography, her tenacity of survival, and her fertility/ death's head duality I think we have our other aspect of Rhiannon as elder.
I found a review of Will's book on the net. It lists a number of inaccuracies.
For myself I apply a very tight level of assessment to a paper in an anthology or journal, or a short book. But I feel that for a long opus it is appropriate to be just a little more forgiving.
The functions of the large work, like this one, are to provide extended theory, with a wealth of cross references both intrinsic to the work examined, and extrinsic to it. "The Four Branches" amply performs these duties.
By contrast a paper or short book, which covers only a handful of points on one theme or at most a superficial outline of two or three themes, can be required to achieve 100% rigour. Any inaccuracy damns the entire item.
In an ideal world the long opus should be perfect too, but once past adolescence one has to notice we do not live in an ideal world. If we applied the same harsh criteria to a long opus as we do to a standard short paper, I suspect papers is all we'd ever get for a full book would be beyond human competence. Certainly I've never found a full length book that offered more than the obvious, that didn't have some inaccuracies on detail.
That review, and a couple of comments attached, raises the point that where we find inaccuracy on a few points we already know, it destabilises our trust on the rest of the work. We cannot then rely on using points made in our own work.
Excuse me? Really! Standard academic training is to NEVER use a secondary source, citation or quote, without checking it out. Methinks we have here the bleating of the lazy student who just doesn't want to do the required labour.
Also a touch of envy working. It is of course, so easy, and to a small mind, satisfying, to poke at the detail of a big person's work. So much easier to make a petty dig than to make the effort to dig foundations for one's own edifice.
Admiring as I am of Will's book I do not feel the same about his publisher. The book is badly presented - too bulky, with overly wide pages, and the proof reading is ABYSMAL. There are actual words left out on almost every page! Typos ditto.
I hope Will will consider a second edition with a better publisher who designs the physical book better, and knows more on how to reduce the price as well.
On the work itself I remain deeply in debt and would recommend it highly. It's utterly worth putting up with the thumping great book that needs a small cushion to support it! to get a thumping good read.
It should be obvious from the foregoing however that it's not a book for popular reading. A Level education and above, or self educated equivalent.
Go! Get it and luxuriate as I am doing. Oh what a feast indeed.
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